Last updated September 2026
Plenty of dogs tolerate a groom. Some genuinely do not, and shake, hide, or have to be lifted onto the table. That is not bad behaviour and it is usually not something the dog will simply grow out of, but a lot of it is manageable, and some of the common advice makes it worse.
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Consider what is actually being asked of the dog. A stranger holds them still, in an unfamiliar place, on a raised surface with nowhere to go, while a loud vibrating object moves over their body, including their feet, face and backside. That is a lot to accept from someone they met ten minutes ago.
Dogs that struggle usually struggle with one specific part of it rather than all of it. Common ones are the dryer noise, having paws held, being lifted, or simply the raised table taking away any option to leave. Working out which part is the problem is most of the work, and an owner often knows the answer already.
Nail trims sit in their own category. A dog that has been quicked once, meaning cut into the blood vessel inside the nail, frequently remembers it for years.
The things that genuinely help
Handling at home, in small doses. Touch the paws, look in the ears, run a hand down the tail, for a few seconds, then stop and do something nice. Not once a week for twenty minutes, but often and briefly. This is the single highest-value thing an owner can do and it costs nothing.
Brushing between grooms. A matted coat turns a manageable groom into a painful one, because mats have to be worked out or clipped off close to the skin. Half the distress in a difficult groom is the coat, not the dog.
A short, boring first visit. Going somewhere, being lifted up, getting a treat and going home again teaches a dog that the place is not a trap. It feels like a wasted appointment. It is not.
Going at the dog’s pace across several sessions rather than getting it all done in one. A young dog that has three easy experiences will be a far cheaper dog to groom for the next ten years.
Timing. A dog that has been walked and has emptied out beforehand arrives with less to spend on being anxious.
The things that make it worse
Comforting a frightened dog in a high, soothing voice. It reads to the dog as agreement that something bad is happening. Calm and matter-of-fact does more.
Pushing through to get it finished. Ending a session on a bad moment is what teaches the dog that it goes badly. Stopping early, even unfinished, is usually the better outcome.
Leaving it six months between grooms because the last one was awful. Long gaps mean more coat, more matting and a harder session, so the next one confirms the dog’s opinion.
Heavy restraint. Holding a frightened animal harder generally raises the fear rather than lowering it. This is why some groomers work with minimal restraint deliberately, and why it is a fair thing to ask about.
A busy room. Other dogs barking, several being handled at once, and a lot of movement makes an anxious dog worse. Some dogs are fine with it. A nervous one usually is not.
Where the dog is groomed matters
For an anxious dog this is often the biggest single variable, and it is worth thinking about separately from who does it.
A salon with several dogs in at once is efficient and plenty of dogs are perfectly happy in one. A one-at-a-time setup removes the noise and the waiting, which for a fearful dog can be most of the problem. Mobile grooming removes the car trip and the strange building as well, which matters if the fear started with the journey rather than the groom.
None of these is better in general. They are better for different dogs, and knowing which sort of dog you have is the useful part.
Puppies, and the visit that pays for itself
If you have a puppy, this section is the one worth acting on.
A puppy’s early grooming experiences set the pattern for years. The aim of the first few is not a haircut, it is teaching the puppy that the table, the noise and the handling are unremarkable. That means short, positive, and stopping while it is still going well, built up over as many sessions as the individual puppy needs rather than a fixed number.
It is tempting to skip this and wait until the coat needs doing. Owners of difficult ten-year-olds often wish they had not.
What to ask a groomer before you book
- How many dogs do you have in at once?
- How do you restrain a dog that is struggling, and what do you do if it does not settle?
- Will you stop and rebook rather than push through to finish?
- Can we do a short introductory session first?
- What is your weight or size limit?
That last one is not about anxiety but it saves a wasted phone call, since plenty of groomers work to a size limit.
Where Miki’s Dog Grooming fits
Miki’s Dog Grooming works from a purpose-built grooming trailer in Gisborne rather than a shop front, taking one dog at a time so the session stays unhurried. That setup speaks directly to most of this article: no other dogs, no waiting room, and the grooming comes to the dog.
On handling, she holds a Trauma Aware Dog Groomers membership through Sasha Riess, and in her own words uses minimal restraint, with no noose and no harnesses. There is a Puppy Socialisation Groom built up gradually over as many sessions as the puppy needs, which is the short-and-positive approach above rather than a single long first appointment. If getting the dog there is itself the difficult part, pick-up can be arranged for an additional charge.
One practical limit worth knowing before you ring: she grooms dogs up to 16 kg, so this is a small and medium dog service rather than one for the big breeds. Bookings are by appointment.
Whoever you go to, the two things that help most are free: handle the paws at home, and keep the coat on top of. Everything else is easier after that.
